My thoughts on Realty TV Singing Shows

I recently watched American Idol to support some friends of mine who had made it ( Najah Lewis Trish Torrales @denisenatoli) super proud of them but after watching it and seeing how hurt some of the people were after they were rejected made me dig deep down to my feelings about these type of shows. Just because the 3 judges didn’t like them, does that define them as an artist? Not At ALL!!!!

Most of you already know that I got pretty far in XFactor when I was 15.  It was at that time where I realized this type of competition shows just aren’t for me.  I in no way think that anyone who is on them is bad; its perfect for that person….it’s just not for me.  I have been performing and singing since I was 8.  There was a time in my life when I would have done anything to make it big.  Now that I’ve started writing my own music and finding out who I am as an artist makes me want to stay away from competition altogether.   I want people to know me for my voice, for my lyrics and where I stand as a human being.   I want to make it because people get me, and not because I fit into a competitive shows criteria.

There are times when the band & I have done shows for 10 people and times when I’ve performed for thousands of people.  The numbers do not matter when the people are connecting to your music and lyrics, not the mold you fit into on a reality show!

Could you imagine if some of the legends of our music industry auditioned for these shows? You know as well as I do that they would never make it past the first round because they didn’t fit into the criteria of the show.

In these past few years, I’ve met with some pretty influential people in the music industry.  They more or less have told me that without this huge stereotypical following, or feeding into something that will sell, I will never make it.  That’s ok.  If I don’t become the biggest name out there, I will feel confident in knowing that I tried my best being me and performing music that I want to perform.  I do hope you will now understand the reason I chose to be me and continue supporting me through my musical journey.


Don’t Give In To Giving Up*

Earlier this year, I got to sing for Demi Lovato, Simon Cowell and LA Reid.  Making it to this round was an amazing achievement, one I was proud of.  I only wish that Britney Spears was back from lunch when it was my turn because she is who I wanted to meet most.

The butterflies were there, I couldn’t shake them knowing that thousands of people were going to watch my audition in front of the judges.  I decided to be me and go out and sing some oldies, songs that show who I am.  I am not perfect, or am I a singer that belts, I enjoy performing songs with a retro feel and using my voice and songs to touch people, remind them of a special moment in time.   I am not always trying to impress with runs and such.  I am an artist who uses songs and words to express feelings.

Simon of course stopped three times saying things I can’t even remember something about me being a pony that will soon be a thoroughbred which I suppose is a compliment.  Then Demi and Simon got into an argument over me uggghhh.  LA Reid, I love him so much, got me, said I’m a story teller & said YES!  But, the worse part of the day wasn’t the critiquing of my singing, (because I get it all the time) as a performer you have to accept criticism, it isn’t easy, but I can deal with it.  My dad however cannot take it that easily, we have to work on him.

After Simon and Demi said no, Demi told me “go get an identity”.  Those 4 words stopped me in my tracks.  I watched a ton of people go out before me and perform exactly like the cover song they auditioned with; these people were being exactly like every other performer, these people mostly made it through.

As I sat through the hours of waiting and watching behind the scenes of X Factor, the less and less I wanted to be there.  I cannot believe how far from performing these shows are.  I was actually given lines to go up to another contestant to say, (something I would never normally do).  As I sat there, I realized how much harder I am going to work on staying true to who I am.

I have to admit, that out of all the people to say those 4 words, it shouldn’t have been Demi.   Demi has had her own struggles. As much as this upset me I suppose I could thank her for reminding me how important it is to have your own identity.  I in no way hate her, but am just confused as to why she would say that.  She could have said I was the worse singer in the world, it wouldn’t have bothered me as much.

I wish she realized I do have one, one that I have fought hard to have.  I am a quirky girl, that isn’t the most popular one in school, a girl who people don’t really understand.  I am not perfect.  I am insecure like every teenager is, I hate being tall, as much as enjoy top 40 music, I enjoy the harmonies and perfection of 50’s and 60’s music.  I am extremely shy but love to perform on stage.

With that being said, I hope that my Castles In The Sand EP shows you my songs aren’t going to be like everyone else and you will continue to support my new music.  I want to be an inspiration to kids everywhere,  to fight hard for your identity and don’t give in to giving up*!  So I guess I can requote Demi by saying “Go Get An Identity” your identity and don’t ever lose it!

*Don’t Give In To Giving Up is from my song “What They Say” with The Como Brothers off of Castles In The Sand)